Batman: Damned Shows Off Bruce Wayne’s Junk

Batman be damned. If you look up copies for Batman: Damned on eBay right now, you’ll find the lowest listing at $70.00. This thing retailed for only $6.99. Albeit pricier than the usual comic book price of $4.99, this book shot up to 10 times its original value within the first week it was released.


One noteworthy thing (SPOILERS AHEAD) about this limited run, is that it shows Bruce Wayne’s junk. You heard me. Weiner, eggplant emoji, schlong, banana, pick whatever word you want. But there has to be more to this crazy ROI than just some softcore nudity. Today I picked up my copy for the low sticker price because I ordered it in advance and will read it to see what all the hype is about. Is this thing really worth $70.00?



DC Black Label

First things first, there was some hype surrounding this release because it was under DC Black Label. This new imprint of DC aims to provide more original stories for mature readers and audiences. Because as we all know, the more mature you are, the more likely you want to see super hero wieners.


Really though, this would give premier writers and artists a shot at expanding on DC’s impressive roster of characters with stories that would take place outside of the standard DC continuity. What makes Batman: Damned so special in relation to this is that it’s the first title to be released under DC Black Label.



Prestige Format

The printing and stock of the book itself will be upgraded to Prestige Format under DC Black Label. Prestige Format, a term coined by DC back in the 1980’s, describes a comic book that is square bound with cardstock covers. These covers are thicker and more durable than standard printing paper.


The Prestige Format of 8 ½ by 11 (well 10 7/8) inch print dimensions are much larger than the standard 6 5/8 by 10 1/8 comic book. It’s pretty new for a limited run comic book series to be printed like this. Prestige Format is new territory for comic books and can set a precedent for standards going forward.


What is the in these pages?


By now, you must want to know what all the hype is about. Before I go ahead, spoiler alert again. The teaser on the back cover for Batman: Damned states in big letters


And the book implies that Batman could be the culprit. The problem is that Batman doesn’t remember. And he must dig deep into the mystery to find the answer. John Constantine is the only one who can set Batman straight. Constantine however, loves to mess with people. He narrates the story himself whilst starring alongside Batman.


And what you get in issue 1 of this 3-issue mini-series is… a whole lot of build up! Seriously, Batman wakes up feeling woozy then finds Constantine in the next room only to bail on him while he tries to explain what’s on the news. Once in Gotham, Batman comes across a… hooded guy that he chases only to wake up in the same run-down motel apartment with Constantine.


Oh yeah, and Batman shows his wiener while transitioning from Bat-Suit to Bat-Cave lounge clothes. It’s not even shown in a lewd or interesting context. It’s literally the same scene you’ve seen over and over again of Batman taking his Bat-Suit off but this time, with a wiener in passing. He’s also attacked by his Bat-Suit and hears voices in his head. But in the end, I got nothing out of it.



What’s to come

I eagerly await issue two of this series because it HAS to explain something. I mean there are only three issues. The second one would, therefore, have to give up something in order for it to make sense. C’mon, who killed the Joker? Why was his face painted onto a statue of a crucified Jesus Christ in the church? If you’re into the symbolism and deep meanings of Batman, or if you just really want to see Batman’s wiener, then this issue is worth your hard earned $70.00. Have fun deciphering who the homeless guy talking to commissioner Gordon was and then deciphering Batman’s wiener in the dark Bat-Cave in which it’s shown. Otherwise, wait for a second printing. But who wants that?




Photo Credit: DC Comics

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